


Perhaps We Were Friends First

by carry_on_my_gayward_son



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses, ACOTAR, Throne of Glass - Fandom
Genre: F/M, post KoA, post acofas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-01 17:51:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16769977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carry_on_my_gayward_son/pseuds/carry_on_my_gayward_son
Summary: Ashera and Theoden have been best friends since before either of them can remember. They spend every weekend together, switching between their homes of Velaris and Orynth. Both have been in love with the other for years now, and as their birthdays occur and they grow older, they form bonds that draw them closer together.





	1. Theo

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't actually finished the ToG series yet; I'm only up to Tower of Dawn, so please excuse any incorrect details.
> 
> Read it on Tumblr: https://alwayscarryonjily.tumblr.com/post/180533125215/perhaps-we-were-friends-first-fic-masterlist

“Theo!” An indignant cry escapes from Ash’s mouth as my staff smacks against her back.

I grin at her and step back slightly. “What? Did you want me to go easy on you, Sweetheart?”

She rolls her eyes, but I can tell she’s trying to hide a smile. I can’t help but stare at the blush that coats her cheeks and before I know it I’m flat on my ass.

“Sorry, _Sweetheart_ ,” she purrs.

I shake my head to clear the effects of the impact and sweep my staff out and under her legs. She lets out a squeal as her feet lose contact with the ground and she lands in the mud beside my feet. I smirk at her as she turns to glare daggers at me.

“Theoden! Ashera! Get out of the ring!”

I expect to see Devlon at the edge of the ring, but instead I see his son, Wyrran, standing there with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. Ash and I exchange a knowing look before we push ourselves to our feet. I bend down to let Ash get on my back and walk over to Wyrran.

“Hey Wyrran. What are you up to on this fine day?” I smirk at him.

He looks around at the camp and the sky and turns back to me with his face completely devoid of emotion.

“It’s raining,” he says simply.

“Well obviously. What other weather is perfect for training in? Oh, sorry, I forget that Illyrians can be babies sometimes,” I say, knowing it’ll anger him.

He snarls at me, and I’m sure that if I didn’t have a princess on my back he would have me back in the ring at his violent mercy right now, future High Lord or not. Ash’s fingers move to wrap around my bicep and her face leans down further to whisper in my ear.

“Let’s go. We both need baths and I don’t want to kick his ass today.” Her breath tickles my ear and I watch as Wyrran’s face turns bright red.

“Of course, my love,” I say, mostly for Wyrran’s benefit; let him think what he wants. We aren’t together. “Well Wyrran, it’s been a pleasure as always. But my lady would like to go take a bath, so we’ll be going.”

I catch a glimpse of him baring his teeth before I turn and let Ash use her air magic to carry our bags over to us. She grabs them, and I winnow us to the mountain my family’s cabin sits on. The force of the wind and rain almost knocks me over. I loosen my grip on Ash’s legs to let her know to get off my back and feel her weight slide off me. I wrap an arm protectively over her shoulder and lead us to the cabin’s front door. She sweeps inside the locks with her magic and unlocks it when there’s a few feet left between us and the door. The thick wood slams shut behind us as we step onto the threshold. I can tell the fire has been burning for some time; the cabin probably having been expecting us. Ash dumps our bags in the room I usually stay in and meets me in the kitchen.

We’re looking through the cupboards for food when my mother’s voice appears in my head.

_Where are you two?_

_The mountain cabin._

Ash holds up a can of soup. I shrug, and she puts it back. We find some bread, dried ham, and cheese and decide to make sandwiches while my mother continues to hound my mind with questions.

_I want you home tomorrow with Ashera. She has to go back to her parents in two days and believe it or not we would like to spend some time with you on your birthday._

I agree to all her requests and answer her questions without hesitation, hoping she’ll let me have some peace soon. Eventually she wishes me and Ash a good night and stops pestering my brain.

When I look up from the sandwich I’m still making, Ash is sitting at the table eating her own sandwich and looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

“My mother was hovering again,” I say with a sigh and take my plate to join her at the table.

She takes a bite of the stale bread before saying, “Has Rhysand agreed to put a pianoforte in here yet?”

“He has actually. I’ve already started painting it,” I reply. “You can test it out soon if you want?”

She nods eagerly and shoves the rest of her sandwich into her mouth. She stands and looks at me before leaving the room, presumably to take a bath. I finish my sandwich and go wait in the living room for her. I hear the door to the bathroom open and she appears in front of me in a silky nightgown drying her hair with a towel. I take her place in the bath, but don’t allow myself to soak in the warmth for long. On my way out of the bathroom I collect my painting supplies from the store room and walk back into the living room to find Ash still admiring the piano. I climb up onto the back of it at the same time she sits down on the stool. She lifts the lid and tests a few of the keys.

“Why’d he finally agree to put one here?”

“Amren helped me convince him. She wants to try it next time we all come here,” I say.

She nods, but I know she never really heard what I said. I unpack my paints and start painting intertwining flames and stars on the smooth black wood. Ash starts to play a soft melody, one that I could never even begin to understand how to play. We sit there playing and painting until the sky darkens completely and the howling wind outside the cabin stops. Eventually a yawn from Ash lifts my head and urges me to look outside. It’s well past midnight and Ash’s eyes are drooping more as each minute passes.

“Sleep time?” I ask, putting my paints back in their box.

Ash nods lazily, and I get up to put my brushes in some water in the kitchen. When I walk back into the room, Ash has her head resting on her arms and her eyes are closed. I decide to leave my paints on the piano and shake Ash’s shoulder gently. She moans a little in protest and I chuckle in response.

“I guess I’ll just have to carry you,” I say, earning a soft smile from the blonde princess.

I pick her up and hug her to my chest, carrying her into what is usually my bedroom. I pull back the sheets, trying not to drop her and place her gently on the mattress. I tuck her in and leave a kiss on her forehead before heading out to go sleep in one of the other rooms.

As I reach the door I hear a quiet voice call, “Theo?”

I turn back around. Ash is still tucked in where I left her but one of her eyes is open.

“Come sleep with me. I’m cold,” she mumbles sleepily.

I know the cabin would warm her up soon enough but I smile anyway, although she’s closed her eye now and can’t see it. She pulls the sheets back for me as I lie down on the mattress next to her. She drapes an arm over my stomach and tucks the blankets under my side. I slide an arm around her shoulders and pull her into my side.

She nudges my shirtless chest with her nose and mumbles what I assume is meant to be, “Goodnight, Sweetheart.”

“Dream well, my love,” I say in return before closing my eyes and letting the darkness sweep in.


	2. Ash

Theo winnows us to his family’s estate along the Sidra first thing in the morning. Well, first thing after getting dressed and finishing with my attack of happy birthday wishes. I catch a glimpse of the sun rising over the river through one of the large windows before Theo drags me up the stairs to his room. The scent of jasmine and citrus hits me at full force as he opens the door and I exhale happily.

“Everyone will still be asleep, so we’re got about an hour until Aunt Elain comes looking for me before she makes breakfast,” he says while rummaging through his drawers.

My hands find their way to my hips and I groan. “Are you telling me that I could have slept for another hour?”

He turns from his drawers and I see the shit-eating grin on his face. “What, Sweetheart? Are you a bit tired?”

I snarl at him. “We went to bed after midnight and woke up before sunrise. Please excuse me if I’d rather be sleeping right now.”

“Suck it up, Princess. What the birthday boy says goes.”

I don’t get the chance to reply before he pulls off his shirt and throws it at my face. I peel the sweaty, mud-stained shirt from my face and have to force my gaze away from a very shirtless Theoden.

“You can sleep if you want,” he says while pulling a clean shirt on.

But I’m not that tired, not really. Between Theo keeping me warm and his scent wrapping itself around me all night, I had an amazing sleep. I shake my head and hope my face isn’t flushed. Theo shrugs and starts unbuttoning his pants. My eyes widen, although they shouldn’t; after fifteen years of being best friends with him of course we’d be this comfortable with each other.

“Are you wanting to change? I don’t think Mom will be too happy if you get any furniture dirty.”

I mumble an agreeing response and flee from his bedroom at the same time I see him pushing his pants down to his ankles. I don’t stop moving until I’m safely inside my own room, where I collapse against the door. My fingers reach up to my cheeks and I feel the blush that coats my face. I let out a groan at my ridiculousness and push myself off the door. I rummage through my wardrobe for a dress and pick a pale green one with short sleeves and a single layered skirt. I shimmy out of my pants, which are completely covered in dried mud, and quickly change into some clean underwear before pulling my equally muddy shirt over my head.

I’m holding my dress up at arm’s length, deciding whether to step into it or pull it on over my head when Theo appears surrounded by shadows in the middle of my room. I let out a squeal and hold the dress tight to my body. Save for the scrap of fabric covering my backside, I am butt naked. Theo smirks when he sees me and simply puts his hands in his pockets.

“Aw, Sweetheart, are you shy?” He purrs.

I feel my flames flickering under my skin and force myself to breathe for fear of turning the dress into ash. I can tell that my nipples have hardened at the sound of his voice, but I drop the dress anyway as I meet his eyes with a determined gaze. His eyes widen, and he opens his mouth to speak, but doesn’t seem to know what to say. I place my hands on my hips and smile seductively as I take a step over the forgotten dress towards him. I watch as his throat bobs and I take another couple of steps. I stop at arm’s length from him and stand there looking up at him. I’m about to open my mouth to say something when his shadows envelop him, and he disappears.

I chuckle as I spin on my heel and return to my dress.

-

Even though I’m not that tired, I lie down on my bed and take a nap in the hopes that it’ll cool me down. When I wake up the sun is streaming into my room with that early morning brightness that I hate so much. I sit up and crawl out of the bed. My dress is crinkled, but the Court of Dreams aren’t the kind of people to judge how I look. I walk down the stairs of the house and make my way to the kitchen. There I find Elain and Theo chatting at the breakfast bar. They both turn to look when the door closes behind me. I return the smile Elain gives me and then turn my attention to Theo. He blushes and turns back to the pancakes on his plate. Elain raises an eyebrow at me and I shrug one shoulder to let her know that I’m not going to be the one to tell her.

“Do you want some pancakes and strawberries, Ash?” Elain asks, easily dropping the unspoken conversation.

I tell her yes, please and she stands to fill a plate for me. I sit next to Theo and turn to him with a deviant smirk on my face. He glances at me out of the corner of his eye but continues eating his breakfast.

“You disappeared pretty fast, Sweetheart. Did you not like what you saw?” I lean forward on the counter and wait for him to turn to me.

He does, and his eyes widen when they catch a glimpse of the cleavage that I know I’m exposing by leaning forward this much. He turns away again, blushing and I turn to the counter too. Elain places a stacked plate in front of me and kisses each of our heads as she quickly leaves the room, but not before I see the amused smile she’s desperately trying to hide. I start eating my pancakes and, as usual, Elain’s cooking makes me moan, it’s so good. I finish and look over at Theo’s plate and the food he still has there that he’s barely touched.

“Theo? You good?” I ask, suddenly concerned that I went too far. “You never leave any scraps.”

I wave a hand in front of his face, disrupting his concentrated gazing at his food. He looks up at me with a blank face.

“Are you good?” I repeat, getting increasingly more worried as the seconds pass.

“Uh, yeah. I’m fine. Just… not… hungry,” he mutters unconvincingly.

I frown and open my mouth to speak but he says, “I’m just gonna go see Aunt Nesta and Uncle Cassian. I think Lora’s around somewhere. She’ll want to see you before the party starts.”

He walks out of the kitchen without another word, leaving me here. I’ve known his family my whole life and I’ve been staying with them in Velaris every second weekend since I was six years old, so I shouldn’t suddenly feel awkward at being left alone here. But I do. I do feel awkward and I miss him already. I want him to come back. I want him to tell me what’s wrong. To tell me what _I_ did wrong. I want him to come back and sweep me into his arms and never let me go. But I know I won’t see him until he can’t avoid me any longer, so I go searching for Elain in the garden.


	3. Theo

She’s my mate.

I can’t believe I just found my mate. Well, I didn’t _just_ find her. Ash is my mate. I’ve known her practically since she was born. _Ash is my mate_. My mate is my best friend. The girl I’ve been in love with for the past four years.

I don’t know when I arrived, but I do know I’ve been standing outside Aunt Nesta and Uncle Cassian’s front door for the past however long, not knocking. Just standing here in the chilly morning air. I keep raising my fist to knock before lowering it again.

Eventually one of them must sense me standing here because Aunt Nesta appears at the door, standing in her nightgown and a fluffy robe – one I remember buying for her birthday last year. Her eyebrows are furrowed together with worry.

“Theo? Hey, come in. Are you okay?” She asks, opening the door wider for me.

She reaches up and wraps an arm around my shoulders when I don’t respond, leading me into the warmth of their townhouse. She sits me down on the couch and yells at Uncle Cass to make me some tea. Within a few minutes, she’s forcing a hot mug into my hands and sitting down with Uncle Cass on the couch opposite me. They share a look before turning back to me.

“Where is Ash, I thought-” she starts

“She’s my mate,” I interrupt her.

My aunt and uncle exchange surprised looks. Uncle Cass shrugs and Nesta gives him a look.

“Ash is my mate and I don’t know what to do,” I say, feeling tears welling up behind my eyes and shadows nudging at my back.

“I can’t say I’m surprised. It explains why you always smell like each other,” Uncle Cass replies.

Nesta gives him another look and he mocks surrender, raising his hands. “Theo, ignore him. Please. Does Ash know you’re mates?”

“I don’t think so. I don’t know.” I shake my head; I can barely form coherent thoughts.

“What made you realise?” She asks.

Uncle Cassian slides an arm around Nesta’s shoulders and it reminds me of how the mating bond snapped into place for them; when they were facing the King of Hybern and Cassian was about to die.

“I winnowed into her room as she was in the middle of getting dressed and I didn’t think much of it cause, you know, we’ve been best friends for years. But I was teasing her, so she dropped her dress and started walking towards me and I just felt the bond snap into place. I had to leave in order to keep myself from doing something idiotic, and now I don’t know what to do,” I ramble.

The longer I think about this, the less I believe it’s true. It’s so surreal that my mate would be my best friend in the whole world.

“Does anyone else know?” Aunt Nesta asks, sipping from her own mug of tea.

I shake my head. “Aunt Elain might, but I haven’t talked to her, so I’m not sure.”

Aunt Nesta puts down her mug and reaches across the coffee table to grab my hand. “Talk to Ash. Maybe not about the mating bond without thinking over it some more, but just talk to her. If you left her in the estate alone she’s probably confused. We’ll see you later.”

I nod and finish off my tea before standing. Uncle Cass ruffles my hair on my way out the door and Nesta gives me a hug. Cass wishes me a happy birthday before they close the door and leave me out on the street again. I take in a breath and turn back towards the estate. The sun is blinding at this hour and I shield my eyes as I weave through the masses of people walking around town.

I don’t have to ascend the steps to the front door when I reach the estate because I spot Ash and Aunt Elain digging in the garden that lines the front of the property. Elain turns and smiles at me before going back to the weeds that are smothering some violets. I walk up to Ash and wait to see if she turns around. She tenses, so I know she knows I’m here, but doesn’t look at me. I look at Elain, slightly offended, and she shrugs as if to say _it’s not my problem_. I focus on Ash again and clear my throat. She continues to ignore me.

I sigh before saying, “Alright. But you asked for it.”

Before she can question my words, I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder. I carry her towards the edge of the Sidra and throw her in. She yells something at me just before she hits the water and disappears under the surface. I wait until she reappears to jump in after her, creating a wave with my cannonball that slams into her face. The cold water engulfs me, and I surface to gulp in some air. I take in some deep breaths while shaking the dark hair out of my eyes.

“I understand that we still have habits that date back to when we were beasts, but you don’t have to act like a dog every time your hair gets wet,” Ash says coldly.

I look up at her and find her grinning at me. I grin back and swim over to her. She stays where she is, treading water with crossed arms. Her chin drops under the water a couple times but for the most part her kicking keeps her head above the surface. I copy her treading and crossed arms, adding a pout to mock her. She laughs and splashes a wave of water at me.

“Are you done being weird?” She asks earnestly.

I nod and swim forward to wrap my arms around her. She nuzzles her nose into the crook of my neck in return.

“Hey, Theo! Ash! Get out of that river unless you both want to be put on cleaning duty!” My mother’s voice carries down from her bedroom balcony. “Don’t think I won’t punish a future High Lord and a future queen, because I will!”

“I’m leaving tomorrow. How does she think that will work on me? It’s not like my father would make me actually do anything at home,” Ash says, tickling my neck as she pulls away from me.

“Don’t doubt Feyre Cursebreaker. She could make us do anything,” I reply.

Ash pulls away from me with a smile and paddles towards the edge of the river. I swim up behind her and give her a boost up on to the path. She reaches down once she’s out and helps me climb out of the water.

“We’re going to have to change again,” I say, looking down at our drenched clothes.

We walk up the steps to the front door, leaving Aunt Elain in the garden, and step into the foyer. Thankfully, my mother isn’t waiting for us. I hope that she’s going easy on us because it’s my birthday. We go upstairs and pause in the hallway outside our bedrooms.

“I promise I won’t winnow in on you again,” I say, blushing at the ground.

Ash doesn’t reply, and I look up, half expecting her to be entering her room. Instead she’s leaning against the door frame and she smiles at me softly.

“Maybe you should reconsider,” she says simply before opening the door to her room and disappearing inside.

I step backwards and lean against the wall, taken aback, but grinning. This girl will be the death of me. _My mate_.


	4. Ash

Feyre doesn’t put us on cleaning duty, although I suspect the exhaustion that hits us both in the morning is the punishment we get. Theo’s birthday celebrations went on well into the early morning. The whole city was out, celebrating the Night Court heir turning one year older. We started out with a family dinner at dusk. Then we had to accommodate for Theo’s younger sister, Loralee, who is, at nine years old, still too young to go to the clubs in Velaris. So, we went across to the Rainbow and danced to the musicians sat in the streets. Theo and I took Lora to her bed just before midnight and promptly returned to the party. We found that Azriel, Elain, and Nesta had gone home. Elain and Azriel because parties weren’t really their thing, and Nesta because she claimed exhaustion, although the rest of us suspected another reason. The rest of us spent hours dancing and drinking our way from one club to the next. Eventually we all retreated back to the estate and gave a very tired Theo his presents.

Mor gave him a new set of Illyrian fighting leathers. His parents put some more gold in his personal account as well as a new set of paints. Cassian gave him a new sword on behalf of him and Nesta. Elain had already gifted him a beautiful, midnight blue, silk shirt after our river antics. Azriel had given him a new set of twin daggers. Lora had sleepily handed him a tulip of deep purple while whispering, “Happy birthday.” Amren gave him a new easel and some paint.

When it’s my turn I hand him a thin wooden box shyly. He takes it with a raised eyebrow and lifts the lid off. His sleepy face lights up and a great guffaw leaves his mouth. Inside the box sits a set of paintbrushes with a note that reads, ‘ _Courtesy of His Royal Highness, Rowan Whitethorn’s tail feathers’_.

Theo holds his arms out for me and I step forward expecting to be pulled into an embrace. Instead he pulls me onto his lap, so that I’m straddling his legs, facing him. His blue eyes stare intently into mine and I redirect my gaze to his shoulder, blushing slightly.

“Thank you. I love them,” he says, laughing. “How’d you convince him to let you?”

“Convince him? I’m his only daughter. He does everything I say,” I say with a smirk.

Rhysand lets out a splutter to my right that I assume is him trying to cover a laugh. Theo raises an eyebrow at me and pinches my thigh. I let out a squeal and poke my tongue out at him.

“Fine. I have to train with him, Aedion and Lorcan every morning that I’m at home for the next month.” I give in.

“Well, thank you. I really do love them,” he says before kissing my cheek.

I wrap my arms around his neck at the same time he wraps his around my waist. I bury my nose in the crook of his neck and breathe in his scent of jasmine and citrus. We pull away, but he doesn’t loosen his grip on my waist, so I swing one of my legs over so that I’m sitting across his lap and can look out at the rest of the room. When I look up at said room, I’m met with the stares of all five adults in the room. They all shake their heads when they see us both look up and quickly go back to their glasses of wine – or blood, in Amren’s case. They start up new conversations and move on from the presents. We all continue drinking and talking and dancing until everyone either finds their way to a bed or passes out somewhere.

I wake up in the morning on the floor of the main living room with a weight on my stomach. I start to lift my head but have to let it rest on the ground again when a splitting headache jolts through it. I instead reach my hand up to feel the weight and find a head of hair there. The head can only belong to Theo, so I continue playing with his hair and staring up at the ceiling as my headache calms down. He makes a noise after a few minutes and rolls over. His face hits my breast and he freezes. I push myself into a sitting position and his head drops into my lap. He opens one eye and looks up at me.

“Sorry, Ash,” he mumbles and closes his eye again.

“I swear if you fall asleep here again, I will hurt you. I’m hungry and want food,” I snarl.

He smirks, eyes still closed, and before I know it shadows are engulfing me. My eyes adjust to the new light and I find myself on the kitchen floor, Theo still sleeping on my lap.

“You little shit,” I say, but I can’t keep the smile off my face.

Elain lets out a yelp from by the oven and turns to see us on the floor, her lazy nephew still dozing on my lap. She shakes her head and returns to whatever she’s cooking for breakfast.

“Elain? Do you happen to have any tonics in here?” I ask, rubbing my neck, where it seems to have gone stiff from sleeping on the floor.

She whirls from the stove, a wooden spoon dripping red sauce all over the floor and her skirts. “What for?”

“Oh, just pain relief. My neck is really stiff, and my parents probably wouldn’t be happy to know I slept on the floor all night,” I say. “Speaking of, do you know what the time is?”

Elain leans over the counter to look at the sun while reaching to drop the wooden spoon back into the pot it came from. “It’s about ten. Do you have time for breakfast before you leave?”

I sniff, and my eyes roll from the enticing smell of bacon and sausage. “I think I can make time.”

She laughs softly and starts preparing two plates of food; one for me, one for Theo. I flick Theo’s nose a few times, eliciting some irritated twitches and eventually a glare.

“What do you want, she-devil?” He snarls at me.

I grin down at him and flick his nose once more. He bares his canines at me and snaps at my fingers. I tut.

“That’s not becoming of a future High Lord,” I say, shaking my head. “What a beast you are, Theoden.”

He sits up, still snarling, and spins on his knees to face me head-on. I roll my eyes and bare my own canines at him.

“You fae males are _insufferable_. Honestly. All it takes is one minor inconvenience and suddenly you turn into a growling bastard,” I say, flicking his nose once more.

I instantly regret my decisions when he pounces on me. I hit my already pounding head on the floor and let out a pained groan at the impact. Theo’s eyes widen as he freezes above me, and he sits back.

“Ash? Oh, Cauldron. _Shit_. Are you okay? Oh, Gods, what have I done?” He fusses.

I laugh, despite the enhanced headache attacking my brain and force myself to sit up.

“Fae males,” I mutter under my breath.

“Ash, please. Tell me you’re alright,” he says, reaching to help me up.

He guides me to my feet and I meet Elain’s stare. We roll our eyes together over Theo, who sits me down at the casual dining table in the corner.

“Theo, shut up. All I want right now is food.”

He quickly pushes away from his place beside me and collects the plate from Elain while she’s midway through pouring some tomato and bean mixture onto the piece of toast. She glares at his back while she wipes up the puddle of food on the counter that his hastiness resulted in. I shoot Elain an apologetic look and she waves her hand dismissively as Theo places the plate in front of me.

“Aunt Elain? Do you have that tonic she mentioned earlier?” He asks, stepping towards the wall of cupboards.

She nods and pushes past him to open a cupboard. He takes the seat beside me and lets Elain take care of the tonic.

“Theo, can you please stop fussing? I don’t understand what’s up with you. Just two days ago you were laughing at me for falling on my ass.” I take a bite of toast covered in what I can now see is beans in a tomato sauce and moan; it’s so good, Elain’s cooking is always so good.

Theo blinks at me a few times before turning away, shrugging. I glare at him but continue eating. Elain hands me a glass of orange juice, which I assume contains the pain relief tonic, and then places a plate identical to mine in front of Theo. He smiles up at her appreciatively and starts eating. We consume our breakfast in silence until Feyre and Rhysand walk in ten minutes later.

“Good morning, everyone,” Feyre says as she kisses the top of my head and then Theo’s. “How is everyone’s morning going?”

“Your son is being a fussy mother hen,” I say between bites of sausage and bacon.

I look up at the High lord and High Lady of the Night Court and find them smiling knowingly at each other. Not that the smiling is unusual, but I don’t know why my comment would cause that reaction. I go back to my food without questioning it.

“Theo, lay off Ashera. She can take care of herself. You can winnow her home after you finish eating. Cauldron, Elain, how much food did you make?” The High Lady marvels, finally seeing how much food Elain has been piling on plates.

“Enough for everyone. Azriel’s stopping by around lunch with Mor, Amren and Varian. Nesta and Cassian are coming by soon as well, and I suspect Nesta will be eating a bit more than usual. Speaking of, do you think she’ll tell us instead of letting us figure it out on our own?”

“Wouldn’t surprise me,” Feyre says, stealing a sausage.

“Although, if I know my brother, Cassian can’t keep his mouth shut. I bet he’ll be around bragging soon enough,” Rhysand adds.

I look to Theo and catch him already looking at me. We grin over the adult’s gossip and finish our food. He holds a hand out to me and pulls me to him as we stand.

“See you in two weeks, Ashera. Happy birthday for Saturday!” Elain says, smiling at me before Theo and I disappear into shadows.

Within moments, I’m standing in the courtyard of my home in Orynth. Rain pours down on us, but something moves to shield me quickly. I turn to Theo, whose arms I’ve stepped out of, and see him holding one of his summoned Illyrian wings out to cover me. I smile gratefully and let him take my arm to guide me inside the castle. We barely make it inside before an excited yell echoes through the hall and a slim frame slams into me. Blonde hair covers one of my eyes and I instantly wrap my hands around my attacker.

“Ash! What took you so long? We need to catch up before your father drags you off for training.”

I laugh and pull out of my cousin’s embrace. “Don’t worry, Farryn. He’ll give me the day if I ask.”

“This will never stop being weird,” Theo says to my right.

I turn to him at the same time Farryn does and I grin at him, knowing she mirrors me. He shakes his head and laughs softly. A part of my chest lifts at the sound but I quickly push it back down.

“What? You mean it’s weird that we both have blonde hair and Ashryver eyes? I wonder why,” Farryn says, sarcasm dripping from every word.

He chuckles again, and that same lift in my chest occurs. “Always good to see you, Farryn.”

She grins at him as she links our arms together. “Thank you for returning my cousin in one piece. We’ll see you on Saturday, I guess.”

He nods and looks to me, mouth parted slightly, as if he wants to say something. Then he shakes his head and steps back.

“Bye, Ash,” he says simply before disappearing in a cloud of darkness.

Farryn leans over and sniffs my shoulder while I stare at the spot he disappeared from. “You still reek of wine. Go shower before we do anything.”

I laugh and shift into my other form – a hummingbird – as she shifts into a falcon. We fly through the palace up to my rooms, letting our cries echo throughout the halls.


	5. Theo

The weekdays that I have to spend without Ash always seem to take forever, but the five days that I have to spend without her leading up to her birthday are agony. I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling for a whole two days after I got back. Uncle Cassian came up to get me after that, bouncing like an excited kitten, babbling about Nesta being pregnant. I let him drag me downstairs where he and Aunt Nesta announced they wanted me and Ash to be godparents. I happily agreed and congratulated them. Everyone sat around the living room, drinking tea and discussing baby stuff while I stared at the rug in the middle of the room; the spot that Ash and I had lain while we slept off the wine we consumed for my birthday. I’m staring at this spot when a ripple of joy washes through me. I jolt to my feet, knowing it hadn’t come from me. All eyes in the room turn to me, conversation ceased.

“What’s wrong?” Uncle Azriel and Uncle Cassian say together, both jumping to their feet, hands going to their blades.

“I – nothing. I just felt – It’s fine. I’m just going to go for a walk,” I manage to say, stumbling towards the front door.

I said I was going for a walk, but the second my feet hit the sidewalk, I lose the energy in my legs. I summon my wings and shoot into the sky with a boom. I fly over the city for about an hour, leaving my mind thoughtless. Eventually, it starts to get colder with the inconsistent spring weather. I feel a drop of icy rain hit one of my wings and I circle around towards the House of Wind. I know my parents’ inner circle will still be back at the estate, celebrating Aunt Nesta and Uncle Cassian. I drop onto the main balcony and sink to my feet. I shimmy towards the edge and dangle my legs over the edge.

I can feel a pull towards the west, and I know it’s the bond, begging me to go to my mate. I know it would take weeks to fly from Prythian, over the continent and into Erilea. It would take mere seconds to winnow, but we made promises to our parents long ago that we would never travel to each other without their permission or knowledge.

I really have to get a grip on myself. I know that my family knows about the mating bond. I told Aunt Nesta and Uncle Cassian. My parents probably figured it out long before I did. And between those four, someone was bound to spill the news to the others. They’ll be happy for me, but this bond is taking over my mind, my being. I know I’m acting different and I know that everyone will understand why, but I don’t want to shut them out, like I have been doing.

Another wave of joy fills me, laughter echoes in my mind. Frustration quickly replaces Ash’s emotions and I drop over the edge of the balcony and let myself fall towards the ground. At the last second, I flare my wings and soar upwards. I need to let some of my energy out, and I can think of only one way to do that, so I fly towards the Illyrian mountains.

-

I drop to the ground with an earth-shattering roar escaping from my mouth. The warriors around the camp scuttle out of my way.

“Wyrran!” I roar.

The Illyrians around me continue moving out of my way and I spot Wyrran stalking towards me.

“What are you doing here?” He demands, probably still pissed at me for the other day.

I snarl at him and say, “You. Me. Ring. Now.”

A devilish grin breaks onto his face and he tugs his cloak off, stalking towards the ring with me. I’m not wearing any fighting leathers, but I dump my shirt in the mud and kick my shoes in the same general area.

“Did your princess finally leave you?” He grins.

I snarl, anger bubbling into my magic. I force myself to tamp it down; now would not be the time to kill the son of a bitch in front of me with darkness and flame.

“I assume she doesn’t know you’re mates if she’s gone,” he says casually, as if he knows exactly what he’s doing.

I don’t even pause to think about how he knows before I lunge for him. My skin over my knuckles tears as my fist connects with the side of his face. He spits blood on the ground and turns to me, grinning. Before I know it, we’re a tangle of limbs and flying fists in the mud. This is not a distinguished fight, full of all the tactics Cassian taught us. This is two males releasing their anger, sharing a blatant disregard for the rules of the camp and the ring.

I manage to get free of a choking hold that Wyrran locks me in and I push myself to my feet. He stands too, and faces me, blood dripping from his nose and mouth, but still smiling like a serpent. I’m too blinded by rage to see the fist he swings towards me. One moment, I’m staring at his hand as it flies right for my face and the next I’m on the ground. One side of my face is buried in the mud and the other stings from the impact of his fist.

Down here, mud sliding into my eyes and mouth, it reminds me of Ash. Reminds me of us sitting in the mud, grinning at each other two days ago. It makes me think that maybe she wouldn’t want me here. Wouldn’t want me taking my anger out on a male that I already don’t get along with. Wouldn’t want me fighting anyone but her, because she knows I can’t always keep my powers in check when I’m fighting, and because she doesn’t want me hurting anyone but her.

“Get up,” he snarls down at me.

I barely hear him. I continue lying in the mud, letting it seep into my mouth.

“You’re pathetic. No wonder she left you. Some High Lord you’ll make,” he says, grunting.

I think he might leave and then, out of the corner of my eye, I see him aim a kick at my ribs. I’m not quick enough to move.

The force from his foot connecting with my chest, rolls me to the edge of the ring. I catch myself on my forearms and cough up a mixture of blood, spit, and mud. I hear multiple sets of footsteps squelching away through the mud. I finish coughing up the mud that I think I may have breathed in a bit of, and I roll onto my back. The rain washes some of the mud off my face and chest as I lie there, just staring up at the sky.

A voice in my head informs me that my mother is looking for me and I groan. I am not looking forward to facing them in this state. But I stand anyway, retrieve my things, and winnow back to Velaris, where my family greets me and forces me into the bath.

Later, when Nuala and Cerridwen (my sister’s nursemaids) have tucked me into bed and tended to my aching muscles, I hear murmuring voices outside in the hall. I don’t need my fae hearing to tell me it’s my parents. And I certainly don’t need it to tell me that they’re upset.

I roll over, making sure I can’t see the door and mentally count the hours until I can see Ash again. I need her more than I always thought I did.


	6. Ash

I spend most of the next five days in my bird form. My training with my father, uncle and Lorcan is the most exhausting thing I think I’ve ever done. I have to limp around in my fae form and take breaks every five minutes from flying in my bird form. There are moments when I wonder if Theo’s present was worth the pain I’m now being put through, and others when I curse myself for being ridiculous. Theo is probably the most important thing in my life. I would go to the ends of the world for him.

A meow to my right sounds out. I look towards the edge of the bench that I’m sitting on and find a ginger cat sitting there, its tail waving around and it’s big blue and gold eyes staring at me. I smile at the cat and wait for her to shift. I glance out to the training centre my father uses and back to the shifter beside me. Now, in the cat’s place, sits a girl, almost identical to me.

“So, have you decided what you’re wearing tonight?” Farryn asks, sliding across the bench to catch some of my warmth in the early morning chill.

I send a warm breeze over her and she lets out a sigh of satisfaction. I grin at her.

“I think I might wear the blue dress,” I say, although I’m still pondering my options.

“The sky blue or midnight blue?” She asks.

“Midnight,” I reply.

The dress in question is a deep midnight blue. The skirt is covered in white specks that resemble stars. The sleeves only cover my shoulders, and the neckline is probably too low for me, but the dress is gorgeous, and I am turning eighteen, so I might as well look good. My mother had the dress made, thinking I’d be as into clothes as she was at my age, but while I got Aelin Galathynius’ looks and gift for music, I certainly didn’t get her personality.

“Oh! Did I tell you I think I met my mate?”

I roll my eyes. Farryn thinks she’s found her mate every other week. I swear every female she meets, she thinks they’re her mate. She thought my parents’ friends, Chaol and Yrene’s daughter was her mate when she first met her, which is hard to believe because Nievan is entirely human.

“Speaking of, have you considered telling Theo that you love him?” She nudges my shoulder.

Nothing in her voice betrays whether she’s making fun of me or being genuine, so I assume the latter. “What does that have to do with mates? And no, because you’re so nosey.”

She turns to face me and I, her and her face contorts into one of confusion. “Why not?”

“He’s nineteen! And a future High Lord. How am I meant to be worthy of that?”

She raises an eyebrow and for a second, I think she might slap me. “Please tell me you’re kidding. You’re kidding right? Ash, you’re turning eighteen _tonight_ , plus I don’t see how age is meant to be a problem; just look at your parents. You are the future Queen of Terrasen; Aelin Ashryver Whitethorn Galathynius’ heir. If anything, it’s him that’s not worthy of you.”

“Who isn’t worthy of my daughter?” A voice from behind them asks.

“Everyone,” Farryn replies, earning a sharp nudge from my elbow.

“Damn right,” my father says at the same time I say, “Hi, Dad.”

“Hey, Fireheart,” he says as he steps towards me and kisses the top of my head. “Your mother wants you to go get ready.”

I push my aching body off the bench and give him a hug before walking towards the castle with Farryn.

Before we can get out of earshot, he calls out, “Oh, and Ash? There might be someone waiting at the top of the stairs for you when you make your entrance.”

I can’t conceal the smile that breaks out on my face from knowing exactly who will be waiting there for me. Farryn and I shift and fly to my rooms. I fly through my bedroom window and shift as I drop to the floor, which is a mistake due to my sore muscles. Farryn shifts out of her falcon form (which I think is slowly becoming her favoured form) and walks to the door.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” She asks before she opens the door.

I nod and watch as she shifts into a snake and slithers away. I walk to the door and am about to close it when I see a box sitting on the table in the main foyer. I go over and pick it up. The box itself and the lid are wrapped separately in a shiny, dark blue paper. I lift the lid and look inside. Inside is a simple, but gorgeous necklace; a single, silver star on a silver chain. I pick it up and find a note sitting at the bottom of the box.

“ _For when you can’t find your way home, know that it is always with you. Happy birthday Ash,_ ” the note reads.

I recognise Theo’s elegant scrawl and the citrus and jasmine scent attached to the box, note and necklace. I know without having to ask that the star represents the brightest star in the constellation of the stag. I feel my eyes filling with tears and I quickly wipe them away before they can fall. I join the clasp of the necklace around the back of my neck and return to my bedroom to get changed.

-

I step under an arch that leads to the balcony above the ballroom. I know that I only have to walk through one more archway to get to the top of the stairs; to find the boy I think I’m in love with. So, I pause, out of sight of the guests and take a few steadying breaths. I’m about to step out of the arch’s shadow when Theo appears in the archway opposite me. My breath catches in my throat. He’s wearing the silk shirt Elain gave him for his birthday and a pair of simple black trousers. His black hair is tousled in waves and his blue eyes shine when they meet mine. I look down at my dress to hide my blush.

I hear him start walking towards me and I look up again. He stops in front of me and bows low.

“Your highness,” he says.

Because tonight I’m not Ash, his best friend. Tonight, I am Princess Ashera Ashryver Whitethorn Galathynius of Terrasen and I am dressed for my people, not for myself. He straightens, and I catch a glint of admiration in his eyes before he steps forward to take my arm.

“You look stunning,” I breathe.

I look up at him as he guides me across the balcony and see a faint blush coating his cheeks. I want to stare at him the whole night, he’s so beautiful, but I force myself to look away as we pass through the arch on the other side of the balcony and reach the top of the grand stairs. I look out over the ballroom. Everyone has paused their dancing and conversations to look up at us, at me. Among the sea of courtiers and royals, I see my parents, my cousin, my family standing on the raised dais, waiting for me. I know Theo’s parents won’t be here; they have their own holiday back in the Night Court tonight, one that requires Theo himself to leave earlier than I would like.

“Okay, let’s do this,” Theo mutters at my side and I let him guide me down the staircase.

He leads me through the gazing crowd, towards my parents and stands beside me as we reach the dais and face the people gathered. He removes his arm from mine and instead slides it around my waist and squeezes once. In the back of my brain, I can hear someone introducing us, but all I can focus on is that hand on my hip, that arm around my waist. Theo slips his arm away again and bows, and I quickly follow his lead to curtsey deeply. We turn to my parents as the guests return to the festivities and find them grinning at us.

Theo bows to my mother and father, and I notice it isn’t as deep as his bow to me on the balcony. I can’t help but wonder what that’s about, but I don’t let myself dwell on it.

“We’re so proud of you, Ash,” my mother says, stepping forward to embrace me.

My father steps forward and wraps his arms around the both of us, placing a kiss on my head as he does so. They both step away from me and my father takes up a conversation with Theo, although I can’t listen in because my mother is staring at me.

“You look beautiful, Fireheart,” she says softly, tears filling her eyes.

“Aw, Mom. Don’t cry. It’s just a dress,” I say, not knowing how to comfort her.

She waves a hand dismissively and turns away for a few seconds. When she turns back, the tears are gone, and she looks just as regal as ever. I see Farryn take a step towards me out of the corner of my eye and her mother grab her arm, to keep her there. I look over at Aunt Lysandra and Uncle Aedion and smile at them all.

“Say hello to your aunt and uncle, Ash, and then you, Theo, and Farryn can go enjoy yourselves,” my mother says, already turning towards my father.

I take the few steps towards my aunt, uncle and cousin and embrace them all individually. I can tell Farryn is bursting to speak, but I know she won’t say it in front of her parents or Theo, who has once again joined my side. I turn and look up at him and grin, wishing he could stand by my side for everything in my life.


	7. Theo

I’m not entirely sure what Rowan had wanted to speak to me about. He said a lot about love, and loyalty, and friendship, and trust, and he kept going on about values. I asked him a few questions, mostly relating to the party, and whether Ash would be able to accompany me for a few hours outside the castle, which he agreed to. Eventually he let me go and I returned to Ash’s side, where I still stand. Farryn, Aedion, and Lysandra keep glancing between us as we speak to them, although no one acknowledges it.

“I’m opening gifts with the family tomorrow morning. Mom and Dad thought it might be best to wait until it was just us,” Ash says.

I know when she says family she means her extended family and me, although I’m giving her second present to her tonight, whether she knows it or not.

“Oh well, I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow,” Lysandra says.

“It looks as if Farryn is itching to dance, so how about you three go and enjoy yourselves rather than talk to us boring old people,” Aedion says, laughing as he wraps his arm around his wife.

Ash curtseys at the same time as I bow and Farryn follows us off the dais onto the dance floor. A few young males watch Ash as we walk, and I have to repress the urge to growl at them. The musicians are halfway through playing a fast song, and we all know there’s not much point joining in midway through a song, so we stand off to the side of the current dancers while we wait. Multiple people come over to wish Ash happy birthday and to comment on how elegant we all look. Ash receives all the compliments graciously, and neither Farryn nor I complain when we miss the start of the next dance while talking to one of the lords of Terrasen.

I lean towards Ash in between when one courtier leaves and another arrives to whisper, “I’m going to steal you away for a few hours later if you don’t mind. Your father said it’s okay.”

She looks up at me questioningly, but quickly turns to the next couple hoping to wish her well on her birthday. She manages to excuse the three of us when the current piece of music ends, and we join into the crowd of dancers.

The music starts up again and we disappear from each other in a whirlwind of skirts and people. I manage to catch a glimpse of Farryn escaping from the dance floor with a female I don’t recognise. There’s a few seconds when I pass Ash, so I reach out and grab her wrist, spinning her into me. Her blonde hair twirls as she does and her body presses against mine as I catch her. She lets out a laugh and dances happily away from me and I know then that I’m gone, and she owns my heart completely.

I stay dancing for as long as she does and follow her to get a drink when she’s laughing breathlessly at the end of yet another dance. I pour two glasses of wine and she downs hers in less than a minute.

“Are we dancing again?” I ask, sipping my wine.

She looks to me and firelight dances joyfully in her blue eyes. She steps forward and wraps her arms around my waist. I wrap mine around her shoulders and look down at her.

“I want to get away. What was that you said about stealing me away?” She asks, taking my wineglass from my hand and downing the rest of the red liquid.

I grin and lead her away from the table after abandoning our empty glasses. I push her through a side door to the gardens and slip through after her. I check to make sure no one’s around and then pull her into my arms before summoning my wings and winnowing away from Orynth.

She tightens her arms around my waist, but I quickly move my arms so that I hold her bridal style while we plummet to the ground. I flare my wings and fly us towards the small cottage on the mountains above Velaris. I know Ash hates flying like this - she only trusts her own wings – so I don’t have to do much to keep her head buried in my chest. I land on the patio outside the cottage and place her feet gently on the ground. She looks up at me, as if to ask if the flying is over. I smile softly and give a short nod. Before she can open her mouth to speak, I catch her chin with my hand and turn her head to the stars

She looks up at the stars, wonder filling her eyes. If I had known she would look this beautiful wonderstruck, I would have brought her to Velaris for Starfall years ago. I tear my eyes away from her, even though it physically pains me, and I look up at the stars. Even after the nineteen Starfalls I’ve seen throughout my lifetime, the sight of the spirits migrating across the sky takes my breath away.

“What is this?” She asks, barely a whisper.

“Starfall. Spirits migrating across the sky. It happens every year. On this night. It’s so beautiful, it draws out every creature of the Night Court to see it.” My words echo into the night, and she continues marvelling at the night sky.

Ash reaches out and squeezes my hand and I look down at her once again. She’s still looking at the spirits, but when she feels my gaze on her face she turns to me.

She’s so beautiful. _She’s my mate_. I want to tell her. I start opening my mouth but before I can say anything she reaches up and pulls my face down to hers. Her lips meet mine and she kisses me gently. The couple seconds of shock pass and I kiss her back, sliding my hands over her hips and around her waist to pull her closer. Our mouths push against each other’s and Ash weaves her hands into my hair, eliciting a moan to travel up from the back of my throat. Eventually we pull away, breathless, and I stare at her. She stares back and opens her mouth to speak. I quickly lean down and place a fleeting kiss on her lips before she speaks.

“You’re my mate.”

Those words send a jolt through me and the biggest smiles break out on both of our faces.

“You know. When did you know?” I ask.

“Just now. When I looked at you. You knew.” I think it meant to be a question, but it comes out as a statement.

I nod simply and can’t help leaning in to catch her lips with my own. She smiles against my mouth and my heart swells. _This._ This is what it feels like to love someone. To love your mate. We pull away and she runs her hands over my cheeks, and into my hair.

“You’re my mate, Theo.”

“I know, Ash,” I reply as I lean down to nuzzle my nose against her neck.

A giggle escapes her, and I remove my face from her neck. Her eyes are glowing with joy and I press my mouth to hers once again. This time, we don’t pull away when we start breathing heavy.


	8. Ash (sfw chapter 8)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/n: I know some people don't like reading smut, or they prefer smut over fluff, and I didn't want to finish with the characters just yet so I wrote two versions of Chapter 8. This one is the safe for work version with fluff and angst in it. The next chapter is the nsfw Chapter 8 with fluff and smut.
> 
> There will be an epilogue.

“Whose cottage is this, and why have I never been here?” I ask.

My eyes are closed, and Theo’s fingers of one hand are running through my hair while I trace circles over the back of the other. He lead us inside the cottage when we’d finally pulled away from each other and had grown cold. We now sat in one of the window seats, still looking out at the migrating spirits. My head rests in his lap and he’s leaning against the wall.

“It’s my cottage. Well, mine and Lora’s, but she can’t winnow yet, and she’s too young to fly here alone, so for now it’s mine,” he pauses. “I don’t know why I never brought you here. I guess I never thought it was special enough for you.”

“It’s small and cute. I would have loved this place,” I say, looking around.

Indeed, the cottage is small. It only has two rooms, and one of those is a washroom. The bed is big enough for two, but only just. A small kitchenette takes up one wall of the cottage, and the only seats available besides the two-person table are two window seats and a single armchair.

A tendril of darkness caresses my cheek before replacing Theo’s hand in my hair. He takes my free hand and presses it to his lips while his darkness continues playing with my hair. I feel my hair being split into three sections and realise his tendrils are braiding my hair.

“You remember your hairstyling lessons?” I ask, referring to the time when we were ten and eleven that I forced him to learn how to do my hair.

He chuckles softly. “No, I don’t. If you could see your hair right now, you’d be thoroughly disappointed.”

“I’ll just have to take your word for it,” I say, smiling peacefully.

We sit in silence for a few minutes, Theo kissing my hand and braiding my hair with his magic, and me playing with his other hand. I’m thinking I could fall asleep here, just watching the stars, but Theo’s stomach rumbles. He laughs nervously and starts to move me, so he can get up.

“Hey, wait. Let me. You stay here,” I say, sitting up and facing him.

His face flushes and I remember why he doesn’t want me to. Females in Prythian offering their mate food is often their way of showing they accept the bond. The fae in Erilea tend to just consummate the bond, rather than formally accept it, which is why I forgot about Prythian’s tradition. We go to speak at the same time.

“No, Ash it’s fine. I’ll do it.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot.”

Theo leans forward and kisses my nose. “You can if you’d like to, Sweetheart.”

I move my head and catch his lips with mine. “I would. Like to, that is.”

He smiles at me, and I swear stars shine in his eyes. I stand and walk over to the kitchen and start rummaging through the cupboards. The cottage must be spelled in the same way as the cabin because the cupboards are all stocked with fresh food.

“I assume you don’t want soup?” I ask, knowing the story of his parents.

His eyes widen, and he shakes his head. He stands up from the window seat and comes over to stand behind me. His hands slide over my hips and around my waist, and he rests his chin on my shoulder, kissing the side of my neck softly.

“You could offer me a cookie and a glass of milk and it’d still count,” he whispers, his breath tickling my neck.

“I think I did see cookies somewhere,” I mumble, closing my eyes.

Theo steps away and moves to sit at the small table that’s pressed into the corner. He raises his eyebrows expectantly. I glare and stick my tongue out at him, but I go looking for the cookies anyway. I get some milk and heat it with a small flame while I put the cookies on a plate. I place them in front of him and pull out the chair beside him to sit down, but he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into his lap. My layers of skirts create a wall between our chests as I settle. I turn my head towards him and he tilts his own head forwards and nuzzles my nose with his.

“I thought you were hungry?” I murmur as he presses his mouth to mine.

He hums something and reaches behind me for a cookie. I watch as he holds it between us and takes a bite before holding it out for me. I roll my eyes but take a small bite. He grins and shoves the rest of it in his mouth. The act of serving him food, and him eating it doesn’t seem to have any noticeable effects, although I guess the whole thing is just symbolic and likely doesn’t affect the bond in any way.

“How long have we been here?” I ask, watching, transfixed, as he chews on the food in his mouth.

He swallows before saying, “About an hour, I think. I say we have two more at the most before your parents start looking for you.”

I groan and rest my forehead against his.

“I know, Sweetheart. I know. I wish we had longer,” he says soothingly while rubbing circles on my back.

I kiss him softly, humming in the back of my throat and he slides an arm under my legs. The other goes around my back and he stands suddenly, lifting me as he does. I wrap my arms around his neck as he carries me over to the bed and lays me down. I see him pause slightly before he climbs over me and holds himself above me. I reach my hands up and trace his jaw and cheekbones. He leans down and nudges his nose against mine. I shift my legs, so he can settle between them.

“Did I mention how much I love your dress?” I shake my head. “Because I do. We match.”

I look down at the place where our outfits meet, and I realise he’s right. His shirt and my dress are almost the exact same colour, both with patterns to resemble stars. I look back up and meet Theo’s eyes.

“Was this done on purpose, you think?” He asks.

I shake my head with a soft laugh. “My mother had this dress made for me two years ago, and Elain gave that to you last week. While I don’t doubt that any of our family members would plan something like that, this is quite a lot of planning for a simple outfit match.”

He nods and smiles at me. “You look like a High Lady of the Night Court.”

I blush and my heart lifts at his words. “I don’t think I’m worthy of a compliment like that.”

He kisses me slowly and deeply, before saying when he pulls away, “You’re my mate. You deserve everything and more.”

I think about how I dressed for my people tonight. Maybe my subconscious was trying to tell me something. Maybe a small part of me knew about the mating bond between Theo and I and tried to show it to me through this dress. Maybe I really did dress for my people. But not those of Terrasen. Those of Velaris and the Night Court.

Theo looks down at me and grins. “You’re thinking about the High Lady comment, aren’t you?”

I shrug, my spirits dropping slightly. “I have a kingdom already, Theo. My parents don’t have another heir. I can’t give up my crown so easily.”

His smile fades, but he presses our foreheads together. “My parents do have another child. I would give up my title, and everything for you, Ash. I would whether you were my mate or not. Just say the word and I’m yours.”

I shake my head, which results in our noses rubbing together. “I could never do that to you, Theo. You are the living embodiment of the Night Court. It is everything you are. I could never force you to give it up.”

The longer I think about this, the more impossible us being together seems. I force the tears that are welling up behind my eyes down and gently push Theo off me. He drops to the bed beside me and I sit up, so I don’t have to see his face. I know if I look at him now, I’ll start crying. I don’t understand how his Cauldron and my Gods could give me such a wonderful, caring mate, and then provide no way for us to be together.

“Ash,” he says behind me as I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and straighten my skirts.

I’m about to stand up when his arms wrap around my shoulders and he rests his chin on my shoulder, keeping me in place.

“Theo,” I say warningly, wishing he wouldn’t make this so hard.

“No, Ash. Why can’t we have both? I become High Lord, you become Queen. I make you my High Lady, and you make me your consort. Tell me that wouldn’t work,” he says.

I open my mouth to speak, but he quickly cuts me off. “Actually, don’t tell me that, Ash, because it _would_ work. You would have to be in Terrasen for the most part, but I don’t have to be in the Night Court to rule over it. My father proved that. I can do what he did and form an inner circle to help me.”

I think I can see his plan working, but I don’t say anything. I want him to continue talking. I want to hear about how he sees our future.

“Actually, why am I bothering with this? Your parents are healthy, as are mine. You won’t be crowned for ages and I won’t be made High Lord for a long time. We have years to plan this. We have years together before this even becomes a possibility of an issue.”

I let out a laugh at this and stand. His arms are still around me, but he loosens his grip and slides his arms down until they’re hugging my hips. I turn in his arms and bend down, wrapping my arms around him and resting my head on his.

“Okay, you make a good point,” I admit.

He nods, beaming up at me as I pull away from curling over him. I run my hands through his hair, eliciting a purr from him. I grin and tug some of his hair. His eyes snap to mine with a playful glint in them.

“You wicked, wicked creature,” he says through a toothy grin.

He pulls me down to his lap, where I straddle his legs. He dips his head and kisses my collar bone, my neck, up to my ear, where he bites at my earlobe.

“Hmm, as much as I enjoy this – shouldn’t we be getting back?” I ask, voice unsteady and breathless.

“Soon,” he says. “Let’s watch the spirits a bit more before we leave.”

I wrap my legs around his waist and let him carry me outside, where he lays me on the grass and cuddles up against my side. We lay there watching the migrating spirits. Two mates entwined together under the night sky.


	9. Ash (nsfw chapter 8)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/n: I know some people don't like reading smut, or they prefer smut over fluff, and I didn't want to finish with the characters just yet so I wrote two versions of Chapter 8. This one is the nsfw Chapter 8 with fluff and smut. The previous chapter is the safe for work version with fluff and angst in it.
> 
> There will be an epilogue.

“Whose cottage is this, and why have I never been here?” I ask.

My eyes are closed, and Theo’s fingers of one hand are running through my hair while I trace circles over the back of the other. He lead us inside the cottage when we’d finally pulled away from each other and had grown cold. We now sat in one of the window seats, still looking out at the migrating spirits. My head rests in his lap and he’s leaning against the wall.

“It’s my cottage. Well, mine and Lora’s, but she can’t winnow yet, and she’s too young to fly here alone, so for now it’s mine,” he pauses. “I don’t know why I never brought you here. I guess I never thought it was special enough for you.”

“It’s small and cute. I would have loved this place,” I say, looking around.

Indeed, the cottage is small. It only has two rooms, and one of those is a washroom. The bed is big enough for two, but only just. A small kitchenette takes up one wall of the cottage, and the only seats available besides the two-person table are two window seats and a single armchair.

A tendril of darkness caresses my cheek before replacing Theo’s hand in my hair. He takes my free hand and presses it to his lips while his darkness continues playing with my hair. I feel my hair being split into three sections and realise his tendrils are braiding my hair.

“You remember your hairstyling lessons?” I ask, referring to the time when we were ten and eleven that I forced him to learn how to do my hair.

He chuckles softly. “No, I don’t. If you could see your hair right now, you’d be thoroughly disappointed.”

“I’ll just have to take your word for it,” I say, smiling peacefully.

We sit in silence for a few minutes, Theo kissing my hand and braiding my hair with his magic, and me playing with his other hand. I’m thinking I could fall asleep here, just watching the stars, but Theo’s stomach rumbles. He laughs nervously and starts to move me, so he can get up.

“Hey, wait. Let me. You stay here,” I say, sitting up and facing him.

His face flushes and I remember why he doesn’t want me to. Females in Prythian offering their mate food is often their way of showing they accept the bond. The fae in Erilea tend to just consummate the bond, rather than formally accept it, which is why I forgot about Prythian’s tradition. We go to speak at the same time.

“No, Ash it’s fine. I’ll do it.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot.”

Theo leans forward and kisses my nose. “You can if you’d like to, Sweetheart.”

I move my head and catch his lips with mine. “I would. Like to, that is.”

He smiles at me, and I swear stars shine in his eyes. I stand and walk over to the kitchen and start rummaging through the cupboards. The cottage must be spelled in the same way as the cabin because the cupboards are all stocked with fresh food.

“I assume you don’t want soup?” I ask, knowing the story of his parents.

His eyes widen, and he shakes his head. He stands up from the window seat and comes over to stand behind me. His hands slide over my hips and around my waist, and he rests his chin on my shoulder, kissing the side of my neck softly.

“You could offer me a cookie and a glass of milk and it’d still count,” he whispers, his breath tickling my neck.

“I think I did see cookies somewhere,” I mumble, closing my eyes.

Theo steps away and moves to sit at the small table that’s pressed into the corner. He raises his eyebrows expectantly. I glare and stick my tongue out at him, but I go looking for the cookies anyway. I get some milk and heat it with a small flame while I put the cookies on a plate. I place them in front of him and pull out the chair beside him to sit down, but he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into his lap. My layers of skirts create a wall between our chests as I settle. I turn my head towards him and he tilts his own head forwards and nuzzles my nose with his.

“I thought you were hungry?” I murmur as he presses his mouth to mine.

He hums something and reaches behind me for a cookie. I watch as he holds it between us and takes a bite before holding it out for me. I roll my eyes but take a small bite. He grins and shoves the rest of it in his mouth. The act of serving him food, and him eating it doesn’t seem to have any noticeable effects, although I guess the whole thing is just symbolic and likely doesn’t affect the bond in any way.

“So, does this mean we’re mated by your traditions?” I ask.

Somehow throughout our years of knowing each other, we never really discussed the different traditions regarding the mating bond.

Theo shakes his head. “This just means we accept the bond. It doesn’t mean we’re mated. That happens the same way in both Prythian and Erilea.”

I nod and kiss him, sliding one of my hands over his neck. “So, when should we go about _that_?”

Theo pushes his mouth back against mine and says against my lips, “Any time.”

As he speaks, he slides a hand down over my skirts and rests it on my upper thigh. With his other hand he reaches down and squeezes my ass. I push myself out of his lap and walk into the centre of the room. Theo stands too, following every move I make. I stop beside the bed and turn to face him. He’s about four feet away from me, and I have to resist the urge to close the gap.

“Did I tell you how much I love that dress?” He asks, looking me up and down. “You’re dressed as a High Lady of the Night Court. You’re meant to be with me.”

A soft blush breaks out on my face and I smile. He’s still standing there staring when I reach behind me and slowly unbutton my dress. I reach up to grab the straps and slide them over my arms. The dress falls to the ground, revealing my bare breasts with their peaked nipples and the black underwear I chose to wear.

“What do I look like now?” I ask, tilting my head.

“A goddess,” he breathes, and before I can respond he’s upon me.

He lays me down on the bed behind where I was standing and attacks my breasts with his mouth. A moan escapes my mouth when his tongue flicks over a hardened nipple. His hand comes up to palm the breast he doesn’t have his mouth on and I repress the urge to buck my hips. I do slide my legs around his waist and rub my feet together against his backside. When he seems satisfied with his work on that breast, he moves his mouth to the other and sucks and bites at it. I let out a series of moans and I cry out Theo’s name when he bites down particularly hard one time.

He slides against my body to kiss my neck and mouth and his silk shirt rubs against my heavy breasts. One of the buttons on his shirt knocks against a nipple, resulting in a buck of my hips. A guttural groan escapes from Theo’s mouth into my own and I take the opportunity to catch his bottom lip with my teeth.

He pushes himself up off me, and steps away from the bed. I sit up on my forearms to look at him and see him watching me hungrily. I grin evilly and slip one hand down into my panties. He watches as I work my fingers on myself, and moan at my own touch. He lets out a growl and kneels at the edge of the bed. He grabs my knees and yanks me towards him.

He tuts. “These are going to have to go.”

He hooks a finger in each side of my underwear and draws them down my legs. He throws them over his shoulder and spreads my legs in front of him to reveal my dripping centre. His eyes glaze over a second before me leans in and puts his mouth on me. The first flick of my tongue has me losing control of the noises coming out of my mouth and I throw my head backwards. As he feasts on me, I whimper and groan at the feeling of his teeth and tongue working me. A white light soon fills my vision and I cry out as release tears through me. Theo holds my hips down and kisses my centre the whole time. He pulls back and sidles up next to me on the bed, leaning in to kiss me, with all of my juices still coating his mouth.

He pulls back, pressing our foreheads together and nudging my nose with his. “You’re wonderful.”

I catch my breath a bit more before saying, “What? You don’t think we’re stopping do you?”

Before he can react, I push myself up and crawl over him to straddle his waist. A bulge in his pants presses against my centre and I grind down on it. I watch as he groans, and his eyes roll back into his head. I slide a hand along his chest and start unbuttoning his shirt. He sits up enough for me to pull it off his arms and out from under him completely, but he stays lying down. I continue grinding my hips onto his as I lean forward and plant a trail of kisses along his toned, bare chest.

When I’m struggling to keep myself in check, I crawl backwards and start undoing the buttons on Theo’s pants. As I slide them down his legs, his considerable length springs free and leaves my mouth dry. I discard his pants on the floor and climb back on the bed, inching over him on my hands and knees. He watches as I sit on his stomach and drag my hips along his chest towards his chin, leaving a trail of my juices behind me. His blue eyes shine as I shimmy backwards and position myself over his member. He reaches under me with one hand and aligns himself with my entrance. His other hand clasps my own and holds it over his heart.

The moment I lower myself onto him, the first thing I see, and feel is pain. I wince, and slow down. When Theo is completely buried inside me, he gently flips us over so he’s hovering over me, hands planted beside my head. He lets me adjust to his size before he pulls out slowly, _so slowly_ , and gently thrusts back in. I reach my hands up and drag my nails down his chest. He lets out a groan and mutters a curse.

I chuckle breathlessly and whisper, “I love you, Theo.”

His eyes snap to mine and he leans in to kiss me passionately. “I love you, Ash.”

He draws himself partway out of me again and thrusts in as he repeats himself.

“I love you, Ash.”

As he continues thrusting into me, I feel a bridge building itself between us. A bright, unbreakable bond, tying us together. Theo drops closer to me and buries his face in my neck as that bridge continues to form.

The grinding of our hips speeds up and I cry out each time they meet, Theo’s thrusts burying him deep inside me each time. He thrusts hard and fast and soon I’m shattering again, his name on my lips. As I tremble around him, Theo follows, spilling inside me as his release hits him. He continues thrusting slowly to ride out his high as he goes limp inside me.

He pulls out, and flops onto the bed beside me. I roll onto my side and press my body against the side of his. I place a hand over his heart and trace mindless patterns there.

“Something tells me you won’t be returning me to my parents on time,” I say.

He laughs and grabs my hand to kiss its knuckles. “Something tells me they wouldn’t appreciate it now if I did.”

I laugh softly and press a gentle kiss to his bicep. “Something tells me you should tell someone that we’re okay if I know fae mating antics.”

He shifts his head to look at me, confused.

“We wouldn’t be able to get anywhere without one of us jumping on the other, and even if we did manage to, we’d be overly territorial this close to our first mating.”

I forgot about the ‘frenzy’ as my parents had once called it, but I remember it when I see Theo harden again, and I think that maybe I should have been more careful with my word choice. But I’m smiling as he pulls me atop him and plunges into me with a deep thrust.


	10. Epilogue - Ash

I’m pacing around my room when a knock sounds at the door to my rooms. I stop walking and look up at Farryn. She stands and goes to open the door. Her pale blue dress billows behind her, gold lining trailing along the floor. I go back to pacing when I smell the person at the door. Farryn walks back into the room with my father in tow. He takes a few strides to me and intercepts my pacing by wrapping his arms around me.

“Calm down. Everything is going perfectly to plan. Your mother and Feyre would never let anything go wrong today,” he whispers soothingly into my hair.

I nod, and he lets me out of his arms. I catch Farryn’s eye from where she stands by the window. She jerks her chin to let me know it’s time and I take a deep breath. I turn to the mirror and check my reflection. My white dress is a simple style and fabric, but the embroidery is the true star. Elain worked for months to stitch constellations, moons, and flames into the skirt with gold thread. Her work is seriously cut out for her because the dress is beautiful. My mother told me not to bother with a veil and she let me choose a pair of soft, flat shoes to wear. In the mirror’s reflection I see my father holds his arm out for me to take. I turn to him, a nervous smile playing at my lips, and slip my arm into his.

He walks us to the door and down the hallway. He leads me to the room before the balcony and we pause. Farryn steps around from behind us and goes to stand at the archway, waiting for our signals.

A tug in my stomach tells me that Theo wants everything to hurry up. I know exactly where he’ll be standing. I know the exact number of steps I have to take to reach him. I know how many minutes the ceremony will last if all goes to plan.

“You ready?” My father asks.

I nod, taking a deep breath and let him guide me across the balcony to the top of the stairs. Unlike Theo and I on the night of my birthday all those years ago, my father and I don’t pause atop the grand staircase. We decided against getting married in the throne room, or in the courtyard. We wanted to become husband and wife in the same place we accepted the mating bond. Unfortunately, we wouldn’t have been able to fit all the guests at the small cottage, so my parents’ ballroom in Orynth was the next best option,

I sweep my gaze past all the guests gathered in the ballroom straight to the male I’m about to marry. He still looks the same at thirty-two as he did at nineteen. His black hair is tousled in waves, and a single, thin braid hangs down beside his ear, courtesy of Lora. His blue eyes shine in the midday light that streams in through all of the windows. I know, even from here, that his gaze rests on me, just as mine rests on him.

 _You look beautiful._ His words fill my head and something in my chest starts to glow.

My father pats the back of my hand and I realise I’ve been speeding up. I slow to match his pace and look around at how far we are from the dais. We’ve passed the last row of seated guests, but still have at least sixty paces until we reach Theo.

_I’m going to enjoy ripping that dress off and devouring you later._

A spark ignites in my core and I know my toes would have curled had I been sitting down. My father clears his throat awkwardly, letting me know that my scent has changed. A flush rushes to my face and a dark, sensual laugh fills my head through the bond. I send a particularly vulgar gesture down the bond. A gentle, teasing stroke down my mind is his only reponse.

I continue following my father to the dais, and we step up together. He kisses my forehead before letting Theo take my hands in his. He joins my aunt and uncle, and Farryn in the left side of the front row. Feyre and Rhysand and their Court of Dreams take up the front chairs on the other side.

Theo and I turn our heads to my mother, who, as queen, is filling in where a High Priestess would have otherwise been. She smiles softly at us before addressing the room with the voice she always saves for council meetings and courtiers.

“Ladies and gentlemen. Males and females, we are gathered here today to celebrate and witness the union of Princess Ashera Ashryver Whitethorn Galathynius, Heir of Terrasen and Lord Theoden Archeron, Heir of the Night Court.”

I let my eyes flicker to Theo and find him already looking at me, a soft, loving smile adorning his face.

_I love you endlessly._

I meet his eyes, turning my head wholly to him and feel my own endless pit of love completely dedicated to him beside the pit containing my magic. His eyes flash as I send a breeze of my scent towards him and I know what he smells that makes his eyes glitter.

We were kept apart for two weeks before the wedding by our parents, who wanted to ensure that we were both completely prepared and had no distractions from finishing any last-minute tasks. That separation period means that he doesn’t know I spent a good portion of time during those two weeks throwing up in a bathroom with Farryn holding my hair out of my face. He doesn’t know that one of the healers confirmed my suspicions two days ago: confirmed that I am carrying Theo’s child.

I look back to my mother, realising that I should probably be listening for when she starts addressing us directly, rather than the guests. I can still feel Theo’s eyes on me, but I continue to watch my mother speak.

_Ash. You’re pregnant?_

I send a confirmation through the bond and finally turn back to him as he begins stroking his thumb across the back of my hand. When I meet his eyes, the love shining amongst the blue engulfs me. It’s like coming home. It’s always like coming home.


End file.
